"Losing well" were two words I hated to hear growing up. It meant smiling when you didn't win, forcing happiness when you were far from happy.
Or at least that's what I thought it meant. Really, it means something closer to not letting your competitiveness get in the way of friendships.
The words have come to mean something different now-from the perspective of a nursing home employee.
Losing someone dear to us will never be easy, but that doesn't mean we can't do it well.
Here are a few pointers in how to process your grief in a healthy way, things that I have observed many families do over the years.
Don't be ashamed of tears. They are a witness that you feel deeply.
Talk to others who are also grieving. Mourning can drive people apart, but if youdo it well, it can also pull you together.
Reminisce about your loved ones who have passed on. Every time you bring up their names and memories of them, it gets easier to smile.
Don't bury your grief under your to-do list or expect it to just go away. Process your feelings with a trusted friend or even your journal.
Know that your loved one is relieved of earthly cares and pain.
Know that you are not alone. Almost everyone has walked this road of pain. Find a community or support group.
It's hard to plan for how a death will affect you. Most of us simply react and don't put much forethought into reacting well. But we can change this. We can indeed "lose well."