Losing Well


"Losing well" were two words I hated to hear growing up. It meant smiling when you didn't win, forcing happiness when you were far from happy.

Or at least that's what I thought it meant. Really, it means something closer to not letting your competitiveness get in the way of friendships.

The words have come to mean something different now-from the perspective of a nursing home employee.

Losing someone dear to us will never be easy, but that doesn't mean we can't do it well.

Here are a few pointers in how to process your grief in a healthy way, things that I have observed many families do over the years.

  • Don't be ashamed of tears. They are a witness that you feel deeply.

  • Talk to others who are also grieving. Mourning can drive people apart, but if youdo it well, it can also pull you together.

  • Reminisce about your loved ones who have passed on. Every time you bring up their names and memories of them, it gets easier to smile.

  • Don't bury your grief under your to-do list or expect it to just go away. Process your feelings with a trusted friend or even your journal.

  • Know that your loved one is relieved of earthly cares and pain.

  • Know that you are not alone. Almost everyone has walked this road of pain. Find a community or support group.

It's hard to plan for how a death will affect you. Most of us simply react and don't put much forethought into reacting well. But we can change this. We can indeed "lose well."

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Phone: 309-923-2071
Email: info@achroanoke.org
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